Michelle Conaway

May 19, 2011 Day Four

Day four was good.  I didn’t have any real problem with my thoughts or body sensations.  I felt light, energized and had a good attitude.  I wasn’t obsessed with food as I was on day three.  I was in a pretty neutral mood and feeling pretty good.  Yes, I could eat.  It’s not as if I had completely lost my appetite, but I was still able to feel concrete about my choice NOT to.

I did find myself wondering how long I wanted to remain on the fast.  Trying to predict my future wants and needs.  Hmmm.  Haven’t I practiced this before?  All I can KNOW for sure is whatever it is that I want or need NOW, in this moment.  But I found myself having that internal conversation in my head about the pros and con’s of staying on/getting off of the fast.  Trying to set up a finish line.  Trying to find my destination.  Telling myself things like, “You eat healthy most of the time anyway, you probably don’t need the full 10 days like most people.  Let’s get off tomorrow.” and “This fasting is just some hokey, hippy, health nut craziness.  You don’t really need this!  What are you doing?  Get off the cleanse TONIGHT!”

And then of course the fear tactic thoughts  like, “You should stay on the full 10 days or you won’t get the energy benefits of the cleanse.  Stay on the fast till day 10.” or “You really don’t get much out of it unless you can go ten days.  You’ll have wasted these days if you get off early.  Stay on it at least 7 days.”

I noticed these thoughts as they came and went though, without much attachment to them.  I realized that this cleansing for me is a journey and not a race or destination to “get to”.  I remembered to come back to now and make the choice now whether to stay on the cleanse or not.   To check in with myself and ask myself how I am doing in this moment . . and somehow I have still not eaten.

I am writing this post as I begin day 5.  I woke up at 3:30 a.m. with abundant energy and went ahead and got up to start the day.  I feel optimistic that I will make it through another day on this fast.  I will continue to choose in the present.  And for now I am choosing to remain on it.  But, there may be a moment in which my body says, EAT, and I will do that.  One of the best things I am getting out of this cleanse is to sync up with what my body is telling me.  I am really checking in with what my body needs in each moment and it feels very good.  I guess this is what it feels like to be aligning Mind, Body and Spirit.  What a gift to myself.

Day 5

Tagged fasting, lemonade diet, master cleanse, present moment

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