Michelle Conaway

I learned recently that I have been living and breathing for approximately one and a half billion seconds.

It sounds like a lot but it has taken me :

* 15 seconds to write these first three lines.

* 1 second to blink (thats about 20 blinks to write this so far)

* 60 seconds to get comfortable in my chair.

*  300 seconds to have a short conversation with one of my   kids

*  86,400 seconds to sleep, wake and do everything in   between.

Only 86,400 seconds in a day!  When you stop and think that blinking spends 1 of those seconds, 86,400 doesn’t sound like a lot.  It adds up.

I learned that I had been on this earth for one and a half billion seconds after my youngest son told me he wanted to figure out how many seconds he had been alive.  We sat down with the calculator and figured it up.  I was astonished!  I had never thought of my life as mere seconds adding up to a lifetime.

I had always thought of my life in chunks or by events or stages. Childhood, school days, marriage, children, vacations. Not in terms of seconds that made up each of those events.

It got me to thinking about how I spend my seconds here on earth.

I am either:

worrying, angry, fearful and anxiety ridden.

Or

joyful, happy and finding the beauty right under my nose.

I realized that this short life is made up of very brief moments and when we spend one, it is gone forever.  These seconds do not renew themselves.  Yes, we can choose differently in THIS moment but the second spent is already gone.  Enjoying the small things that lead up to big things is just as important as experiencing the big ones. ALL of it equals a lifetime.

How often have I spent those seconds in my head trying to analyse the world?  How many of those seconds have I spent on judging others?  How many moments have been spent trying to get to the next second?  A lot I am afraid, but I don’t feel regretful for that.  Those seconds have led to this moment, where I am free to choose again. With each blink of an eye I have a choice.

Do I see the world as a problem?  Each moment being a means to an end?

Or

Do I find all of the gifts in front of me to behold, taking in the miracle of it all?

It all comes down to the question of whether I live in fear or in joy.  With each blink, I get to choose.  We all do.

What Freedom!